Strange days...

Free as a bird. Yes I am. That is me. I've been thinking a lot about freedom lately - the freedom we have to make choices that will plunge us into unknown futures. Freedom is a funny concept. Sure, I'm free to choose, but I'm not really free to choose the choices am I? You see I've been in a funny state of mind lately - one that has me second guessing my choices and decisions I've made, and I'm thinking about what kind of future I really want. I sometimes think I'd be best focussing on the present, but the present is kind of nice you know - maybe I'm just anxious about the fact that life as it is will inevitably change. Perhaps I'm starting to worry about what it will change into. It's just that we seem to be so busy so often now that I need to take stock and breathe in order to let the dust settle and the mind be still.

Drawing birdies (an activity that provides refuge) has helped me slow down and take stock:





All will be in my store in the near future.

Anyway, in taking some time out from the current madness, I have ended up skipping uni for two weeks. What the?!?! I can't explain my absence except to say that I feel I have needed a respite from all things art related recently. Sometimes I find myself so caught up in it all - anxious, stressed and results oriented - it gets to the point where I forget what it is I loved about art in the first place. I have needed this break. I have, truly. Why do I feel so darn bad for not going to class then?

Truth be told I've achieved more in these two weeks away from uni than what I ever would have had I gone. I have started all of my final semester assignments and am feeling in good stead for the big assignment rush that will occur in a few weeks time. I can't believe that the end of semester is only a month away. That means that in four weeks I will be half way through my course - half way to having a piece of paper that says I am an artist! Woohoo! This is very exciting for me.

And here is some proof that the artist cap has definitely been on even while staying away from uni. After a trip to the beach I came home and made my shell collection into this mandala:





I've felt a real pull towards using natural objects in my art lately. I like collecting interesting things and arranging them in interesting ways. It fills some strange void. It gives order to chaos. It provides me with some sort of solace when my mind becomes muddled by philosophical life questions that ruin the preplanned trajectory I had envisioned for myself. Life is like that I suppose.

In the Studio

I've realised that blogging whilst the uni semester is underway is totally unrealistic. Time and time again it has been proven that uni and blogging do not merge well for me. No matter - there are enough random posts such as this one to tide me through until the next lot of holidays.

Today I thought I'd post a review of what I've been up to in the studio. I had a slow start this semester - I was creatively blocked and feeling totally uninspired. In order to kickstart the art engines I created a little project for myself in which I was to make 28 churches in 28 days. The below images are the results of that little project. The results aren't anything special, but that's ok as I was really concerned about the process and about kickstarting some kind of 'making' in the studio. I must say that it worked wonders and I've been unstoppable ever since. The 'making' bug has hit me in a big way and I'm alive with art-making activity.

I love it when I'm really in the zone. The 'zone' demands a constant state of anxiety and spontaneous making. It can be tiring, but mostly it's energising. There is nothing like being so involved in something that the rest of the world just falls away - especially when it's not chemically induced, ha!





My latest 'thing' involves wrapping sticks and branches in old fabric. There is something cathartic about the process of binding these broken limbs in strips of discarded fabric. It is as though two rejected, dying souls are being united to breath new life into each other. Ok, so that's a little dramatic, but the fact remains that something about it makes me feel all warm inside. I'm thinking of using them in some kind of installation.





My hands have been so active the past few weeks. I have been obsessed with making objects out of the everyday 'stuff' of life. The objects that surround me are imbued with limitless potential and I find that I'm open to experimenting in ways that I haven't done before. There are many examples of these experiments in my studio at uni, but here is one of the more recent pieces which I put in our second year exhibition:




So, that's a wrap on what is happening in the studio right now. Believe it or not, conceptually I'm concerned with the 'sacred space' - where it exists for me and how I reach it. My idea is that my sacred space exists within the act of making. I'm having as much fun trying to unravel this idea as I am making in the studio. I'm now realising that there is a push and pull between thinking and making in the studio which I find seductive. The challenge lies in trying to unite them.

Strange bedfellows...

Playing with stuff found in my garden and in my studio. Creating relationships between synthetic and natural materials. I'm enjoying the experiments and am pleased with the results. They are strange objects - a little wrong and a bit awkward - I'm learning to love wrong/awkward very much.









I have taken a vow not to buy any new art materials for the rest of the semester. I have to use what I find or already own. I find that restrictions like this lead to ingenuity and originality. I hope I'm helping the environment a little too!

Dubai

Oh, no! I can't believe that it has been over a month since I've posted in this poor neglected blog of mine! But that is a good thing really, as it means that I've been a busy bee. Uni is back in full swing - in fact we are already halfway through semester one! Arghhhh! It's unbelievable how quickly time has flown this year. Also, Ben and I took a trip to Dubai over easter, which means that we have been playing catch ups ever since our return. It was more than worth it. Ben was working, but I had a wonderful 8 days of exploring, shopping and relaxing in luxury. Truly, my life is pretty blessed. Here are some pics to prove it:









Dubai is a really interesting place. East meets west in a pretty extravagant way and it really is a place that you have to see to believe. The construction that is happening is out of this world. With over 17% of the world's cranes, the city is literally popping up out of the desert at a rate of knots. While I certainly had fun in the awesome shopping malls, I enjoyed seeing the parts of 'old Dubai' the best - the street markets, old buildings, shipyards and mosques really evoked the exoticism of the middle east. I think my favourite memory from the trip is walking along the banks of the Dubai River at sunset and hearing the chanting rising from mosques all over the city. It was stunning, and one of those moments that you wish you could capture and keep with you forever.







*sighs* Anyway, now I'm back home and reality has sunk back in. Life just keeps on keeping on it would seem. However, I am off to the coast for a weekend of R and R (I know, life's tough!), but I'll be back soon with some art - I promise.

A long post on a sweltering summer afternoon...

I've been doing a bit of research on specific artists lately - trowling the web and bookshops to find artists whose work appeals to me. I've realised that I am always firstly attracted by an aesthetic. Perhaps this isn't strange being that I am studying *visual* art. However, if an artist's concept approximates my own leanings, but their work doesn't appeal aesthetically, then I won't even bother with it. Probably a bad practice, but that's the truth of it.

I've found Ruby Mag an invaluable source of visual information online. This site is fabulous! It's an online contemporary art mag without words - just awesome art-tastic pictures! It is updated with new feature artists every month and has also published two paper zine-like books which can be ordered through the site. I have them and they are great. If you haven't been to this site before then I highly recommend going and bookmarking it.

Another source of inspiration has been the book Ice Cream: 10 Curators, 100 Contemporary Artists, 10 Source Artists by Phaidon.



It is, as the title suggests, filled with the work of 100 contemporary artists and has introduced me to the work of artists such as Sue de Beer, Gelitin, and Brian Jungen, to name just three. If you are in Brisbane the GOMA bookshop is selling them for $70 down from $100 right now! It's worth it!

Otherwise I've been using search engines to explore the web and am finding little gems here and there - I need to compile a list and update my favourites so that I have them on hand when it comes to assignment writing time at uni. I get addicted to this kind of research - trying to find artists whose work speaks to me directly is great fun - I always try and one-up the previous find, so my searches narrow until I find an artist's work that I wish was my own. I'll study this inside out, stare at pictures of their work trying to work out exactly what it is about before I read the didactic or bio, and then try to work out how the piece was executed. It is a lot of fun, but also important research. It's problem solving of the creative kind - it gets my brain ticking over in an 'art' way, which is really different from how my mind normally works. I'm finding that I slip between thinking that way at uni, and thinking normally at home - I'm hoping that one day my art mind will switch on completely (perhaps this isn't wise?)!

I'm leaning towards a few conceptual themes lately, ideas that I can only really convey with brainstormed words. Ideas surrounding themes of nature and the human relationship with the natural world, the sacred and sacred spaces - both traditional and secular, nature and the divine, religious awe, natural awe, beauty, wonder, maginficence, god in the details. I guess there is this relationship happening in my mind between religion and nature. I'm interested in the 'religious experience' - something that has been a keen interest of mine for many, many years (I did a degree in comparative religion a few years ago). But I'm also interested in how nature, and in particular an awe for it' can procure such religious experience. At the same time I'm thinking about sacred spaces and ritual and their roles in religion including nature worship. It's all messy and scattered for now, but I can see a combining of two interests here - ie. my love of the beauty of the natural world and my deep interest in spirituality.

Speaking of spirituality, here's another book I can highly recommend:



I'm probably the last person in the world to have read this book, but anyway, if you have an interest in the spiritual journey and aren't a fundamentalist or a new ager then give it a go. It's down to earth, witty and so engaging. I just loved it.

Lastly, I've put my 'Feathered Friends' series of watercolours in my Etsy Store , so check them out!




Wow! This has been such a random post. Not much to do on a 36 degree celcius day but sit in front of the computer and expend as little energy as possible whilst trying to escape from the heat!

You make my day!

Oooh, I've been tagged by the awesomely talented Michelle of Shelbyville! She granted me a 'You Make My Day' award, which I'm honoured to receive! So this is the deal:

1. Write a post with links to 5 blogs that make your day.
2. Acknowledge the post of the award giver.
3. Tell the award winners that they've won by commenting on their blogs.

You know, I really don't do this enough. There are so many blogs that I read almost daily (even though my own updating is somewhat laxed), and which inspire me tremendously. So I'm glad that Michelle tagged me so I could acknowledge a few of my favourites. Here we go...

1. A Fanciful Twist - who does not know about and love Vanessa? My goodness. She has the busiest blog on the whole of the internet, and rightly so. Her posts are either like entering a fairy tale or going on an acid trip (and I mean that in the nicest possible way!). I couldn't think of a better name for her blog either - it is fanciful and twisty indeed! Vanessa is also one of the friendliest bloggers I have ever had the pleasure to converse with. She certainly makes my day on a regular basis.

2. Poppalina - this woman is a force to be reckoned with. She has the most unique take on the world - witty, somewhat sardonic at times, but always sincere and a little bit zen - she mixes craft with confessionals seamlessly. I check in here quite often to get a dose of life laid bare - it's a good tonic!

3. Sue Beyer - Sue is a Brisbane artist in her final year of a BFA and I have been following her journey since she first began her art blog. For me her blog has been something of an inspiration - to know that others over a certain age (ok, the big 30) are starting from scratch in order to follow their dreams is really such an inspiration. I often read Sue's blog and realise that all the doubts, fears, and risks that need to be taken are a normal and healthy part of the artists journey.

4. My Felicitations - Felicity is a fellow traveller, a kindred spirit on the treacherous journey through surviving art school (really, it's not bad at all!). We were each others studio buddies last year and would have long conversations on the meaning of life and how wicked and wonderful the art world seemed. I feel like we have gone through the initiation ceremony together and come out the other side eager and hungry to learn. We are proving things to ourselves every day and it's building our confidence. It's really nice to have someone to share the journey with.

5. Be Dream Play - this is a relatively new blog to me, but the enthusiasm, reckless acts of creation and abundance of peace love and energy that exude from this blog is infectious! Colour, craziness, joy, wonder...it has it all - check out Elizabeth's blog!

Ok, so there are my five 'you make my day' awardees. Big thanks to Michelle for nominating me! You know, you really should check out Shelbyville. This girl has such style and flair and an awesome sense of design. She makes really cool things - books (one of which I own and love and have been drawing in for over a year now!), cute little vintage scrabble tile brooches and all manner of delightful objects. She's also one of the friendliest people I have ever met and surrounds herself with fellow creatives. I really dig her commitment to art and design.

So, that's it! That was actually really difficult - to pick just five was harder than I thought. Now I must go and inform my award recipients....

Have a creative day!

When you are anxious about something big it helps to focus on something small - like birds...

I've been working on these little peepers the past couple of days. They started as a test to really try out my new watercolours but I ended up with 12 little bird paintings and I plan to do more - I'm just enjoying them so much. They need something to elevate them beyond the realm of just 'pretty pictures' and I'm thinking of adding some kind of text.

In painting these illustration type images I'm transported back to some of my favourite childhood books - 'The Magic Possum', 'Wilfred Gordon MacDonald Partridge', the Beatrix Potter books, and 'Winnie the Pooh' being amongst my favourites. The kind of soft, sweet images in these books always inspired me and I still buy a good childrens book if the illustrations appeal to me.

I've got to tease out my multiple art interests at the moment and find a common thread. It's hard. I tend to work on a number of projects at the same time - right now I have four going! Well, maybe three - I see a link between two of them. The three are totally separate, but they all sustain me equally and in terms of the progression of my practice - I'm equally committed to each of them.

I sometimes wish that I was the kind of artist that could focus on one specific concept and practice. I read art magazines and some artists have been doing the same thing for 30 or 40 years! I admire that so much. But then I read articles about artists who are diverse, dabblers, experimental, and I know that I will probably follow a path like that. For me, life is fractured and random - like my own consciousness. The course of my life has taught me this. I search desperately for a sense of 'wholeness' of 'oneness', but thus far it has been elusive.

In art, as in all things in my life, I am somewhat flighty - I flit in and out of ideas - I dip in and out of mediums, of 'styles', of means of expressing myself. I am interested in 'almost' everything (though I admit to an indifference towards digitial media which I hope to 'get over'). I know what I 'like' and I know what I don't 'like' and I often know why - it's just that what lies inbetween is so varied and broad. The problem with all of this is that I don't know what kind of artist I want to be. Do I have to? I know that diversity in practice can be a real positive in the contemporary art world - however I still see that artists are often labelled - 'digital artist', 'painter', 'installation artist'. Surely in art these labels need not apply? These questions really do plague me. Going into second year of my BFA I know that we will be expected to start to consolidate our practice a little - to create bodies of work and think deeply about concepts - and I'm really excited about this. I'm just worried about what direction I want to go in. I'm asking myself what it is that I really love to explore and I just can't pinpoint one thing. What does this mean?

After three months off, the commencement of uni in two weeks time is kind of making me anxious - as you can see!

But anyway, for the past couple of days it has been all about watercolours, beautiful paper, fine brushes, childhood imagination, and of course, the birds.